Paula Abdul

Paula Julie Abdul worked her way up from being a cheerleader in the mid-eighties to dominion over the territories of Planet Pop. Her big break came in 1984 when she was spotted by the Jackson family and asked to choreograph their "Victory" album. She went on to choreograph Janet Jackson, Prince, Dolly and Angela Wimbush.

In 1987, Paula Julie used her savings to make some demos, and the slow-burning success that was the "Forever Your Girl" album was born. Abdul had arrived! And the Universe had prepared itself.


Hat!


"Forever Your Girl" - bled dry.

Despite taking 62 weeks to get to #1 in the US (a record at that time), "Forever Your Girl" was massive. It birthed four number 1 singles, "Straight Up", "Forever Your Girl", "Cold Hearted" (lost!) and "Opposites Attract". "Knocked Out" and "(It's Just) The Way That You Love Me" were also hits in various places, making six singles in all!

There wasn't a second campaign for a while and so the flogging of horses persisted. "Shut Up And Dance" was a remix album, which made a stunning #7 on the Billboard charts. It's amazing that an album which contained no new tracks from a multi-platinum seller itself managed to rack up another million copies.


Shut Up And Dance - the same songs, only different

So huge was Abdul by this time, that the animated cat in the "Opposites Attract" video got his own record deal, albeit to Paula's own label, Captive Records (vanity project!).


Spellbound - everyone Rush Rushed to buy it

"Spellbound" was the second album, in 1991, and sold eight million copies. "Rush Rush" topped the charts for eight weeks. Other hits included "Vibeology", and there was also a misjudged track written for her by Prince, called "U" - bet it was wretched. The "Under My Spell Tour" ran into 1992. There was also a special edition of the album which came inside a make-up compact, complete with powder puff and mirror! Not gay at all then!

Abdul vanished after recording a Diet Coke commercial, and her profile had considerably cooled by the time she hoved back into view in 1995 with "Head Over Heels" (with 17 tracks of goodness). For some reason she roped in Yemenite-Israeli pop star Ofra Haza (lost!) for the first single "My Love Is For Real" and went for a middle-Eastern vibe, the fool. The single only got to #28 in America and by the time the video for "Crazy Cool" appeared, she was riding a mechanical bull and spraying champagne over her breasts. We've all been there.

In 2000, Virgin dumped Abdul and released a "Greatest Hits". Paula Julie then co-wrote the first track of a possible new album, "Spinning Around". Alas the album got forgotten about but canny old Kylie took hold of the song and used it to re-launch herself into the pop stratosphere. Amid the royalties, one wonders if Abdul pondered on if she'd let a re-invention of her own slip through her claw-like fingers.

In 2002, Abdul reacquainted herself with the general public by becoming a judge on "American Idol" with Randy Jackson. There were "substance abuse allegations" when she appeared to sway and slur her speech on screen. Suspicious!


Another Greatest Hits. YESTERDAY

She's now apparently well known for her compassionate nature and "fingers bent outwards hand-clapping style", whatever that means. There's also a jewellery line and a perfume. It probably smells of herring and egg.


Some jewellery - mystical! Look I'm enigmatic! And diamond-encrusted.

In 2006, with two divorces behind her, she appeared on "Dr Phil", a sort of "Street Dates" for America, and was sent to hunt down some cock. For shame.

This year, there was another needless Greatest Hits from Virgin while a reality show, "Hey Paula!" is in the offing. She's the sort. Finally, there is a possible new album mooted - with the impossibly fantastic working title of "Paulatics Of Love"! Just watch that get changed.

Look!

It's a big-haired delight! There's also a sequel, "Cardio Dance" and another one "Cardio Cheer" if you want to learn how to be a cheerleader. It's 5 DVD's!


Paula, with cheerleaders. One of these women is 57.

This next lot promises delights but fails to deliver:

It features just six videos! Two of which are censored, and one of which is cut! It's like they TRIED to make it as rubbish as possible. Whither all the bleeding hits?

Finally, some car boot fodder:

Learn to sing from Paula and Randy. Our only hope is of a cappella rarity duets within.

www.paulaabdul.com

Website Coming Soon! We've heard that before. From Sabrina Maria Salerno, for one.

www.paula-abdul.net

This is better. In fact it's one of the finest sites "Music Box" has stumbled across in its intrepid wade through the crap of music past.

www.paula-online.com

Over 1500 pictures, completely unsorted. It's what you want.

 



Today, with a past conquest of big-hatted pop diva Sinitta Malone.