Hazell Dean

Once described as "the Angela Rippon of hi-NRG", Hazell Dean emerged from the ashes of the Hazell Dean Orchestra in the late seventies, scoring her debut Top 75 hit in February 1984 with "Evergreen/Jealous Love". She was a mop-haired chicken-in-a-basket Donna Summer who rode the SAW bandwagon, albeit with none of their good songs.

A triumph of perserverance over greatness. In the days before it took more than a few flop records to be dropped, Hazell had hits at various times throughout the mid-late eighties with songs like "Searchin'", "Who's Leaving Who" and "Message to Michael". She was the first SAW artist to make the Top 10 with her hit "Whatever I Do, Wherever I Go".

Hazell jumped the sinking ship of SAW in 1991 and began a succession of bad career moves, starting with calling her third album "The Best of Hazell Dean" and then putting 11 new songs on it. From then on, she pulled every dirty trick in the book to clamber back aboard Success Express, including "Searchin' 97", a wretched re-recorded Greatest Hits and "Knowing Her, Hazel Sings Abba".

The trouble was, Hazell just wasn't very interesting. One can't help but unkindly think that standards of glamour in pop have gone up since Dean's heyday, and her position in the SAW queue (just behind Big Fun and Boy Crazy) saw her given Kylie rejects like "Turn It Into Love". The result of all this is a Greatest Hits of death, laden with long remixes and a tracklisting that means you don't get to a song you know until 47 minutes in.

As well as being a staple of a million cheap eighties themed CD and videos, Hazell Dean's Greatest Hits is freely available from Amazon Marketplace for just nine pence second hand. Her cover of "Livin' on a Prayer" is, however, quite rare.

Still in the gutter, alas. After spilling the blood of Bon Jovi's "Livin' On A Prayer", she recorded a version of "Sister's Are Doin' It For Themselves" with popular American singer Marina. She trawls the gay clubs like a whore and to date was last seen performing at Edinburgh Corn Exchange in 2004.