The Whipping Heard Around the World

Big thanks go out to Nathan for pointing me in the direction of the following e-discussion. It is a cautionary tale, especially for those with a pervert in the household and no common sense. It starts when a chap adopts a cunning disguise (a character from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century no less) and tells his heart wrenching ass pounding story

Errr....... new username time for this one I think!

Basically I've been with my current g/f for a about 7 months now and recently shes been goin on about trying some kinky stuff ..... yeah I know what your thinking, lucky me but bear with me a while.....

She got this sexy school teacher uniform which was a real turn on tbh and it turns out she's really into her role playing games! I was naughty pupil etc but last night I think things went a bit too far! She decided to give me a few wacks with her school cane while I was *ahem* a bit tied up except she wacked me really hard about 6 times even when I asked her not too! It really hurt and I've got huge welts on my ar*se! I got really p*ssed off with her but I don't think she took me seriously, told me to lighten up etc...

You wouldn’t expect anything but the following reactions would you?

Will you tell her that Ive been a very naughty boy?

Lucky Bast!!

we really need to see some pics!

Send her around to me, I will sort her out !!

Stop being a mard arse and give her one.

The first reaction is instinctively laddish, the second is instinctively misogynistic.

Swap roles and you become a head master then give her the cane and see how she likes it !!! when she asks you to stop laugh at her tell her to lighten up and whack her again. she will soon get the message

Next time you dress up as a baseball player and beat the sh1t out of her with the baseball bat and she how she likes it.

Just stick it up her @rse when she's not expecting it. That'll teach the bitch a lesson

Tie her to the bed, and f**k off down the pub till closing time

I'd kick the bitch to kingdom come!

Sorry but more information required mate afterall we dont know anything other than she hit you hard with a big stick, some people prefer that than having some bitch moan like fcuk at them for 40 years.

tie her hands behind her back and punch her in the mouth a few times...if she moans tell her to "lighten up Baby!"

The thread starter returns to give a little more information about the evening.

I was tied face down on the bed and was expecting something a little more sensual to be honest then she started lashing me across my a*rse!

A little later he adds –

I bet you wouldn't think it was a good thing if your girl started beating sh*t out of you instead of sitting on your face as you were expecting!

How exactly was he expecting her to sit on his face if he was tied face down?

True sympathy can only come personal experience as "Pete" ably demonstrates with this helpful slice of married life.

My wife wont do any of this stuff ,wont even go near my chocolate starfish,wanna swap?I asked her to piss in my mouth and all she did was tell me to stop reading porn!WTF?I said id piss back in hers if she wanted.Still no joy.

I found the following suggestion mildly amusing. Yes it is in bad taste but at least there is a little wit behind it.

Why don't you play this role playing game next time:

She can dress up as a street hooker, and you can maybe don a fake beard and dress up as Peter Sutcliffe.

She might not be such a fan of role playing then.

Obviously it would be funnier if this was the 1980s as nothing falls flatter in comedy than referencing a horrific murderer that your audience doesn’t remember. The modern version would probably be –

Why don't you play this role playing game next time:

She can dress up as an old lady with a chest complaint, and you can maybe don a fake beard and white coat and say you’re Harold Shipman.

She might not be such a fan of role playing then.

At this point the thread has obviously been clipped by a moderator. There is a gap of 78 minutes which ends with

wtf! you nosey cnuts!

Mate how did you get my photobucket addy? how do I delete pics off here?

We can only guess what happened – the thread starter hosted a couple of pics for private use and the addresses became public. There appear to have been two pictures related to the incidence – one of the thread starter’s whipped backside and one of his girlfriend – and… lots of other non-related pictures of the person hiding behind the ID. Though the original pics were removed from the thread and deleted from the server, someone retained copies of them and produced this helpful poster.

Theories abound as to which of the forum’s regular posters is hiding behind the twenty fifth century pseudonym. One person thinks they know and posts the following point…

Given your stance on capitalism on the thread re London Hoteliers making absurd profits (allegedly) out of the London bombing, looking at the state of your ass you seem to have paid big time for her pleasure

…which makes no sense at all. I haven’t removed or added anything. If anyone can spot how the first half of the sentence relates to the second half then I might be able to get you a job in our Servicing department.

So far we have a tragic tale, a betrayal of confidence, a tasteless joke, some humorous suggestions of how to beat-up women and a small scale humiliation. This is, after all, a specialist forum (something to do with a particular breed of car). How bad can it get?

Thanks a f*cking bunch. My mate followed a link on and saw me in the picture on here!

But that is only the beginning. The virus has been unleashed. The contagion spreads and multiplies and then returns to rub itself in your face.

All the best from


Just found this on UJCC and will go off and post it on FTOOC and IMOC

found this through Pistonheads.. now also posted on the corrado forum..

It's raising a titter or two on our site at POCUK.Com (Pajero owners club)

It made it to Club GTI and the Corrado-Forum too

been posted on to

Ive just spotted it on

Made it to cliosport aswell!

Saluti da Milano!!!! Toyota Club Italia is with you my friend!!!

(In)famous on as well!

you've made it to - Ford Cortina Forum

Greetings from across the pond -

you've also made it to

Also spotted a link from

and a big hello from forum!

congratulations .............. you made it into the bike world as well

and on

about to post it on

Also on here -

Well you made it onto as well.

just followed a link from

I followed a link from so will have to share it with e30zone and cruisenorthwales

hello from

Hi from

Ok – so he’s done the rounds of strangely named British car forums where people obviously need an occasional respite from talking about engines and boiled sweets and those gloves that Alan Partridge wears.

The uk's car forums unite over some poor bloke getting ass whipped! I feel a group hug coming on!

It could be worse though. A penny on the price of petrol and the auto forums will find a new subject to get hot under the seatbelt about.

I've just emailed this to my cousin in Australia - global here we come

Arrived from the GT4oc, reposted on: (USA) (USA)

Its made it to THE Israeli Modified Car Site as well

Well, now in Africa too! Can be seen on from South Africa!!

had this e-mailed to me at work as well today and also got another through e-mail with nearly 80 other e-mail address' on it. so expect to get a lot more hits on this yet.

Still, that’s only four continents laughing at the guy. I don’t find that as potentially scary as this post –

This is a great thread, saw a link to it on a local enthusiast site.

Is that a site for people who are enthusiastic about their locale or do they simply feel they don’t need to specify what their enthusiasm is for as, like "the scene" it needs no further explanation – you either know what it entails or you can guess.

There are only two ways this could get more humiliating. Firstly, his mother reads it and recognizes her son’s adult buttocks. She then pops round to give the girlfriend one of her old slippers and a few tips on angles and momentum. Or, secondly…

ive done my part and posted it up on and sent the link to those gods of the internet with the hope itll be included in there friday newsletter.

B3TA is only read by a few hundred… thousand… people per… day. Possibly millions.

In summing up the success (though that depends on your perspective) of the episode this probably counts as praise but I’m buffeted if I know what it means.

This is destined to become a bigger internet phenomena than mosh girl and the super nova thread on MigWeb combined

The thread starter disappeared, the thread became little more than people promoting their own message boards and websites, and the only thing keeping it alive were messages of support.

do you people not think hes had enough stick he's suffered enough. must be a right pain in the arse, it dragging on like this.

I can see how you could be smarting (for want of a better word) from some of the comments and also for your new found infamy.

I feel for you [mate] - you must be getting the ar$e by now, seeing red maybe, feeling like the one handed man at the ar$e thrashing competition maybe.

Well you guys certainly make your mark (in more ways than one).

Tweaky, it was a brave thing you did to ask for advice, though posting a link to a picture of your bare buttocks hosted on your own on-line photo album was a tad careless. The genie is out of the bottle now, but I'm sorry you're taking a caning for it.

Ok, maybe they aren’t quite as supportive as they appeared to be. But this one is – it even contains a silver lining… if the poster is insane.

[thread starter], you can't go back in time and change things, so my advice is just to make the best of it and enjoy it. You have a story you'll be able to tell your children/grandchildren about in the future.

I am in a fix – I wanted to end the piece on a special post – one which stood out from all the rest – but I couldn’t find one. The three under consideration were as follows – imagine this is the film "Clue".

Alternative Ending One

tweaky just think your ass has been pretty much around the world in 4 days and been seen by approx 23000 people, thats obviously not counting the people that have copied the pictures and sent them to their friends on email.

I meen I got an e-mail from a mate that lives in newquay and has nothing to do with any form of motor forum,and that had a picture of your ass and your missus on it with an explanation and a link to this site that had been sent to around 20 people and imagine if they sent it on again, and again and again. by christ nearly a million people will have seen your sore arse by wednesday night


Alternative Ending Two

A big HI! to Tweaky from all at the Ford Focus Owners Club

Hope your ass gets better soon!


Alternative Ending Three

This is the first time i have posted on this forum and must say that i'm utterly appauled at the content of this thread , some of the comments are just awful and de-grading its a damn disgrace to say the least..

ps [spankster]..... does yer bird have a sister?

I have dusted of my gimp mask in anticipation .. yours BIG Dave..


But those are just alternative endings. I eventually found the finish I wanted. I’d put live links but the auctions keep getting deleted so I saved them as PDF files.

The pictures made it to the internet.

They made it to the entire British car community.

They made it around the world.

Then they made it to eBay.